Holy shit! Tonight. We Saw. ELEEEEPHANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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We had been drinking on 15th, playing pool, drinking beers, and a few shots of tequila. Finally we got a hold of Hank and met up at Third and Long (a bar I would have never dreamed of going to), and Joe Kaes. There we boozed on dollar Buds and Bud Lights. The door guy had a whistle for when the elephants came. Joe and I talked with him for a bit over a smoke, but I decided that he was a foozie and we would have to rush the crowds for the phants (that's slang for elephants).
We boogied.
We got great spots. Amazing spots in fact. Front row outside of the midtown tunnel.
Right by the gates we all had to piss. Whoaaaaa, did we have to piss!!!!!!!!! I'm talking explosion status!!!!! AAAAAAHH! We held it. The cops, I think, had to piss as bad as we did. They held their cool. Joe and Hank were yelling at me for screaming "Horton heaaaaaaarrrrdddd a whooooo!!!!???".
Pink elephants? Well, I saw one!!! And so did the baby sitting on her dad's shoulders across the way behind the barricades.
We waited. Waited. Waited. And waited s'more. Ugh. Marley kept saying it smelled like sewer water. It did. The grates were leaking. Fuck it. We had good standing spots (otherwise known as seats!!!).
We continued to stand. After a lot of cops peeking out of the Midtown Tunnel, finalllllllly, a motorcycle began to rage. I screamed!!!! "HOLY SHIT!!!! IT'S A MOTORCYCLE!!!!!!" Right after that a truck appeared. I screamed "HOLY SHIT!!!! IT'S A TOYOTOA!!!!!!"
Right after that, the parade began. Turns out it wasn't a Toyota. It was a Ford! American!!!! Wooo! God bless the US!
The freaks, zombies, and gouls then poured out of the Midtown tunnel exit! Some danced! Some swayed. Some just seemed plain old tired. Regardless, we didn't give a shit about them. Gimme some mother fucking elephants!
Then.............................................. whoa! ............................................. a .............................. real ......................... life ......................... elepahant .......................... came .................... in ......................... the ......................... distance!!!! WHOAAAA!!!!!
A REAL ONE!!!??? WHOAAOAAAOAOAOAOA!!!
Side note: the little kids were too cute. I couldn't help myself from photographing them the whole time while we waited.
Everyone was super friendly. Thanks 'the crowd'. Thanks 'the cheers'. Thanks 'Hank!' Thanks 'Barnum and Bailey!' Thanks 'whiskey!' Thanks 'Queens!' Thanks 'Midtown Tunnel!' Thanks 'Third and Long Bar!' Thanks most of all... 'Elephantateeees!'
It's on from here. Watch the video you jerks!
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